Bad MLS Photo of the Day #392

May 31st, 2008 Bad MLS Photo of the Day atholkay No Comments »

Is that a handgun on the counter?

From Cannon Alsobrook.

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Bad MLS Photo of the Day #391

May 30th, 2008 Bad MLS Photo of the Day atholkay 1 Comment »

Dude I can’t feel my legs.

From Cassie Walker Johnson.

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Friday Feed Bag

May 30th, 2008 The Feed Bag atholkay No Comments »

The round up of shiny things this week.

Seeing the quality is up so high these days, I’ve come to the conclusion Jeff Brown has a ghostwriter :-)   Wishin’ & Hopin’ Ain’t Gonna Get It San Diego (California) Real Estate Investors

Kris Berg reruns something I didn’t catch the first time around. One Man’s Junk Fees.

Sellisus – You Be The Judge: Time of the Essence Closing Date

Crash test on a Chinese truck. One notes the special crumple zone protecting the cargo area. (30 seconds) 

Ines at Agent Genius chats about the Coldwell Banker Sale. Does offering a discount make you a discount brokerage?  Hmmm.

Jeremy Esland’s post about TuFuse at the Flickr group for Real Estate Photography has kicked off about three nights of messing about. If your HDR attempts all suck like most of mine do, TuFuse may just be the answer.

Speeding Car. Bowling Ball. Ramp for Ball. “A hell of a bad idea”. (1 Min) 

…and you’ve been fed.

When Your Wife Stabs You With a Fork You Learn to Pay Attention.

May 29th, 2008 Humor, Photography, Rules of Good Photos atholkay 1 Comment »

In any other situation it’s called a partial seizure. During a showing it’s called The Thanksgiving Turkey Test. That’s the one where the buyers are pretty interested in the home and everything is going pretty well, then suddenly the female half of the buying couple makes a beeline back into the kitchen and just stands there. 

The “standing there” could take a little while. There may be odd movements and vocalizations. It’s really important not to disturb her. What she’s doing is trying to imagine if she’s comfortable pulling the Thanksgiving Turkey out of the oven in this particular kitchen. Open your mouth and you break the spell. Just let her come out of it on her own. 

Oh sure the kitchen is just fine… at least it is to you foul mouthed oafs that make a ham and potato chip sandwich and just spin the loaf of bread afterwards and tuck the end under. Yeah… me too, guilty as charged. True story - back in the in the early days of wedded bliss I once came home from Wal-Mart with a box of matching plates, cups and bowls. When asked how many were in the box, I did the math and said “four days worth”… 

… apparently that was the wrong answer. 

It turns out that when there are just two of you, and you have a four day supply of plates, you have eight settings. Then I had to wash brand new plates! I had to take them right from the box and wash them. She’s not due for PMS until Tuesday either, so she’s like Basic Instinct calm as she said we had to wash them too. I’m freaking out man. 

Sorry, wandered off for a bit there. Anyway, um… wife, kitchen, the standing there, imagining if it’s possible to pull off T-Day. I’m right back with you now. Focused. 

So, here’s the snap of the wet towel – you have to pass the Thanksgiving Turkey Test in the photo of the kitchen. Buyers will study the kitchen photo like no other. 

The good news is that the kitchen photo is the easy one to get right. The biggest key is simply making sure the kitchen is clean as possible, and decluttered as possible. I go really, really, and I mean really decluttered. Move the toaster, the spice rack, the candle, the cat’s food bowl, the dish towels out of the shot. If it’s an ornamental towel hanging on the handle of the oven that the First Lady gave your grandmother, they can either bring an offer, or you take it out of the shot. Take everything that isn’t nailed down out of the shot, with the exception of just two magical items that can sit on the counter. 

1. A coffee maker – because coffee symbolizes relaxation, enjoyment and can cap the end of a successful dinner event. 

2. A roll of paper towels – symbolizes ease of use and cleanliness. 

Now there are a bunch of other important things that do matter in kitchen shots, especially making sure the verticals are vertical, but I’ll hit that up another time. The lion’s share of the emotional impact in the kitchen is just going to be the open space and the cleanliness. 

P.S. Fridge magnets are of the devil. 

P.S.S. Yes I know that this entire post is completely sexist in assuming that the woman/wife will be in control of all the cooking etc for Thanksgiving. In my defense, all I can say is that I’ve seen multiple instances of very even tempered, domestically egalitarian, women turn into possessed maniacs attempting to channel “Betty Crocker on a good day” around Thanksgiving.  Suddenly the way cloth napkins are folded becomes as important as correctly following the checklist for the deployment of Space Shuttle. In situations like this the best advice is to repeat the phrase “everything was fabulous” until the situation has resolved. My point remains salient though – home buying is rarely rational. 

P.S.S.S   You’re probably wondering about about the “stabbing with the fork” bit in the title. Here’s the story… I got up in the middle of the night for a drink of water… the turkey was left in a chicken stock/brine thing in a cooler in the kitchen…anyway, long story short, we had to clean the kitchen floor, I sustained “superficial fork wounds”, and everything was fabulous.

Bad MLS Photo of the Day #390

May 29th, 2008 Bad MLS Photo of the Day atholkay No Comments »

When I said try not to shoot the tree, I meant stand to the left, not try and hide it behind the lampost…

From Cannon Alsobrook.

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Bad MLS Photo of the Day #389

May 28th, 2008 Bad MLS Photo of the Day atholkay No Comments »

The night was dark and stormy…

From Dorothy Newman.

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Bad MLS Photo of the Day #388

May 27th, 2008 Bad MLS Photo of the Day atholkay 1 Comment »

When I said “make sure you get a shot of the water” I meant the ocean…

From Linsey Planeta.

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Bad MLS Photo of the Day #387

May 25th, 2008 Bad MLS Photo of the Day atholkay 5 Comments »

Oh… so that’s where I left my purse and phone and keys and pen and paper towels and the contract.

From Steve Belt.

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Bad MLS Photo of the Day #386

May 23rd, 2008 Bad MLS Photo of the Day atholkay No Comments »

Caution low ceiling.

From Lisa Haas. And yes, every single photo in the listing was squished like this.

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Friday Feed Bag - Gas Price Creme Couch Rights Kiss Death

May 23rd, 2008 The Feed Bag atholkay 2 Comments »

Here’s the shiny bits for the week…

I guess it’s stating the obvious, but Dan Green uses pretty graphics to explain why The Oil-to-Mortgage-Rates Chain Reaction is bad. Oil go up is the bad.

Douglas Heddings states the obvious, but some people are so pig headed, that it bears endless repeating until it finally sinks in. Grossly Overpriced Property…The Kiss of Death

Bigger Pockets – My Advice? Buy a FourPlex  Hey it’s tempting as hell, just one problem… I’d be living in a fourplex.

Ardell at Rain City Guide – What Are Negotiating Rights After Inspection of House?  The short answer is not a lot. At this point you’re in kinda deep into the process and discovering nasty things on inspections can be like someone just pulled your beer goggles off halfway through naked fun time. Your “rights” are either to pull out, or finish up anyway.

Larry Lohrman at Photography for Real Estate just launched another eBook The Business of Real Estate Photography: e-book/Start-up Kit Now For Sale  I haven’t got it yet, I’m hoping this fawning linkage gets me a free copy. Failing that, I’ll pay for it. I’ve learned a lot from Larry over the last year, so worth it as tip money if nothing else. 

If you haven’t found a copy of Blue Harvest yet, and you’re either a Star Wars, or Family Guy fan, you have to get it. Have to have to have to. Mandatory, as in not optional.

The Blue Harvest version of escaping from the trash compactor on the Death Star…

I keep telling my daughters that every single image of women used in advertising is photoshopped. Just in case you think small tweaks are all we’re talking about, check what is possible to do in editing. (3 min) Hat Tip Mortgage Cicerone.

Mass Suicide of Cadbury Creme Eggs. (20 seconds) 

Mass Suicide of Cadbury Creme Eggs – Special Full Horror Directors Vision Edit (1 min)   

…and you’ve been fed.